Do you really wanna know me, not just where I live?
Do you really want to know, not just by the color of my skin?
Do you really want to know me, not just by the things I did?
If you really got to know me, it might take a little time...

Cause I am more than what I look like
I am more than where I've been
I am more than what they say about me
I'm more, I'm more than what you see...


if you do, it will take time
the walls are up
the gates are closed
access to the inside is restricted
only approved individuals are welcome

ill still be nice, ill still be kind
ill still be fun, ill still be crazy
but thats the outside
it will take a lot to make me open up

if it really means something to you,
if you really care
then you wont be discouraged by this

any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

so many nights wasted poisoning myself
guess i just hated the emptiness i felt
to be excepted you gotta look like they do
but you held your hand out and took me just as I am

your love is like candy
like something ive never tasted before
and you take me places
i never dreamed i could go
oh ive been laughed at and broken in two
and ive felt the wrath that words of hate can do

ive been stranded and left standing in the rain
but you picked my head up and carried me away from this place

your loves like candy like something ive never tasted before
and you take me places i never dreamed i could go
and where would i be without you
where would i go without you


Lord I need your strength
'Cause I am weak and falling to my knees.
Who is on my side?
'Cause I can't tell my friends from enemies.
Filling up with pain.
Bitterness controls the air I breathe.
What am I fighting for?
Do you have a plan for me?


any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

the snow is on fire
first sight
the world still rests
the horizon is burning
an unfathomable fire
beautiful and amazing
the snow is on fire

tree tops aflame
red hot burning ice
freezing and flying
thinking and sighing
such love i dont deserve
such wonder at all you do

no matter where i am
no matter what i do
loving hands to guide me
arms to hold me tight
i wasnt trying to get away from you
it never works when i try

all this but a fingerprint
to stand witness
to fill with awe
to open the eyes of the blind

the snow is on fire
the ice burns bright
the horizon a wall of flame
whatever it takes
continue to bring me back
in the big
in the small
use it all to remind

the snow is on fire




any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

life lesson #337:
when walking around or under trees following an ice storm, be attentive to the branches and the area above your head. all too easily a concussion or laceration-inducing ice chunk could find you.


life lesson #338:
God gave you a mouth and a digestive system for a reason. if you dont use it by failing or opting to not eat repeatedly, your body will begin to break down. subsequently, you will feel the side effects. starving is not a good way to lose weight. being too busy or not having anyone to eat with are not suitable excuses either...




any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

i wouldnt be able to let go if i didnt trust that you would catch me
your thoughts are higher than mine
no matter how i stretch, i cant comprehend you

like a single solitary tree left standing after a hurricane,
i am alone

yet as i look at the destruction around my feet
i remember that there is only one reason i am still standing after the storm
i have strong roots, and these roots go deep

not everyone knows the tree illustration
but you should know it's all about foundation
dont build your house on the sandy land
find some bedrock
and drill deep.



i stand awe
i kneel in humility
i fall down in worship


any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

in high seas or low seas
i will be your friend
in high tide or in low tide
ill be by your side


if you return to the Almighty, you will be restored


any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

I have in my hands two boxes,

Which God gave me to hold.

He said, "Put all your sorrows in the black box,

And all your joys in the gold."

I heeded His words, and in the two boxes,

Both my joys and sorrows I stored,

But though the gold became heavier each day,

The black was as light as before.

With curiosity, I opened the black,

I wanted to find out why,

And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole,

Which my sorrows had fallen out by.


I showed the hole to God, and mused,

"I wonder where my sorrows could be!"

He smiled a gentle smile and said,

"My child, they're all here with me."

I asked God, why He gave me the boxes,

Why the gold and the black with the hole?

"My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings,

The black is for you to let go."



any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

Open my eyes, my life is scattered on the floor
I walked away from you so long that I could not hear your voice.
Oh my tears that I cried I left them laying on your heart
And now I'm here with you again, can we pick up from the start.

(Chorus:)
All I have and all I need is everything You gave to me
I bitter way so now I'm picking up the pieces once again.

I'm falling to my knees that is where I saw Your hand
I've been here way too many times,
I can't belive You'd take me back
And all the tears that I've cried,
Never touched the ground and
Now I'm here with what is left
Will You build me up again?


great song...



any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

The one my heart and soul confided in
The one I felt the safest with
The one who knew just what to say to make me laugh again
And let the light back in
I miss your gentle voice in lonely times like now
Saying it'll be alright

i miss my friend



any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

i gave you the best i had
i gave you all i had
more than ever before
open and exposed like never before
i said i wouldnt let it happen
but i did
never more complete
never more comfortable
never more loved and appreciated and accepted

never more vulnerable


any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

lets never talk about this again
because i didnt want it to mean that much to me
but i cant help it
it keeps coming back
the more i think about it the worse it becomes
trying to get rid of it just makes me want it
wanting it makes me miserable
being miserable makes me sad
and depressed
and mad at the world

im not saying it is your fault
im not saying anything
its just not easy
being me
with you being you
so near




any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

she wants to save you with her bandages
after she makes you bleed
the last person you want
the only one to fill the need
heard it before, know it by heart
coming from her,
it feels more like a knife
piercing you again and again




any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

the desire to feel loved is the last illusion

let it go and you will be free

the dawn of trust requires release

the insecurities and need for attention and love must be let go

it must be approached as a secondary support

love on earth is great, but pales in comparison

if we are truly filled with God's unconditional and unfathomable love,

we should be secure

we shouldnt be caught up in earthly love

it shouldnt be one of our chief desires to have others love us or give us attention and affection

we are not called to be hermits

we are called to love God and glorify Him in our actions

once we love Him and He fills us with His love,

then we will be able to experience love on earth to the fullest

without His love, none of this will satisfy.

it will only bind us and restrict us.




any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

no, really....
its ok
dont worry
im used to people being "too busy" by now
i wont take it personally
never do


i forgot you werent there anymore


any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon".

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and! reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but few would buy them because they think that they would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10.You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes hate - their computer!


any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

apparently the top 8 questions that all men dread have been posted online....
they are funny....and interesting. im not going to comment on their personal relevance to me or if i completely agree, just post them for the female readers and see what they think. or maybe they will make them think twice the next time they ask them

ok i changed my mind. im going to add a little explanation/description from my perspective and experience. but im not going to specify a situation like they do online, just so that you can imagine all the different scenarios....


"what are you thinking?"
(if you have to ask, you probably dont want to know. depends on the situation. he my want to tell you or he might need to tell you, but the fact that he isnt telling you or isnt talking about it is clearly on purose. you bringing it up will most likely only make it worse, both the situation and his psychological turmoil, whatever it is.)

"Where is our relationship going?"
(he is most likely thinking about this on his own or forcing himself to not think about it depending on what his intentions and plans are. its not that you cant ask this question, but there are a lot of situations where you shouldnt ask this. if you do, you will get a response that you probably dont want to hear. and it may not be the truth either. example: right after he woke up, while he is pissed, after making out/hooking up/etc... or in an altered state (with the aid of alcohol). in these and other situations, his response will be effected by the environment and his current temperament.)

"Do you love me?"
(you should know the answer. either way. if you dont feel loved and you want him to express it more verbally or physically or in a different way, express this. but say it that way, not so bluntly. dont ask it just to pd you stats or make yourself feel better. dont do it to make it seem like you are above him in some way. most guys will not like being put on the spot with that question. there is a lot of presumption and negative animosity subliminally implied in that question. he will automatically feel attacked and will get defensive. it makes him feel like he isnt doing a good enough job or there is someone else that you think might do a better job. forcing him back into a corner with subliminally attacking and negatively implicating questions will only reap angry and defensive responses. or a meek response that he feels is being forced out of him. and if you are forcing him to say "i love you" the he will begin to mean it less and less every time he says it.)

"Am I fat?"
(this or any variation of this question is just unfair to men. i mean...come on. it is a losing situation. no answer is right. im not going to get into details and specifics with this one, but it should be obvious. dont put us in that position. if you are feeling insecure and want to know his opinion about body types and sizes and whatnot, why not inquire on what he thinks of another girl and then compare in your own mind, like you do continuously in your subconscious. be careful how you word it though. if he feels like this is some pop quiz of fidelity or if he loves you or something, then you will not get a good or truthful answer, if you get one at all.)

"How many times have you had sex?"
(hmm. well. i cant really speak from experience on this one. but i do kinda know the discomfort that a guy would feel if he was asked this. a guy's sex life and sexual history are his private business and if he wants to share with you what he has been through, then he should do it on his own accord and not based on a question from you forcing him to let you know. if the guy is a Christian and/or a virgin, he probably doesnt want to talk about that part of his life at all because it either isnt something that he is proud of in his life or it may have been a different part of his life before he met Christ or got serious about his faith. and some guys in our society almost feel ashamed or embarassed to admit they are still virgins and havent had sex yet in a culture that glorifies it so much and has no boundaries regarding it. im not saying that a guy should hide something from you. and you have a right to ask. if you are in a sexually active relationship, you shouldnt be asking to find out about his experience. if you are having sex, im sure you can figure it out pretty quick. on the other hand, you shouldnt ask it this way if you are trying to figure out if he is a "good" sex partner. as him straight up if he has any STDs or something like that which you should know about. you have a right to that information. beyond that, most guys dont want to tell you about their sexual past. the good, the bad, or the ugly. and if you ask it in a flirtatious way, the guy will probably imbelish or make up stories to impress you and get you in bed, since you are putting out those vibes of interest and possibility. anyways. that is enough from me.)

"Do you want to meet my parents?"
(i kinda disagree with this question and the explanation they give on the website. i mean...yes i have been through that. it is terrifying having to meet a girl's parents for the first time. you figure they are going to kill you when she walks out the room or ask you some question that will make you look stupid or embarass you or something. so yes. it is intimidating and scary. but at the same time, if he cares, he will probably want to meet them. if he is serious, he will be willing to deal with the scariness to meet them and learn about where you come from so that he can know more about you. if his intentions are good and wholesome, then he wont mind. he will welcome the opportunity. he will be scared and anxious, most likely....but he will still go.)

"What should we do for Valentine's Day?"
(grrrrr. i hate this day. with a passion. a lot of guys do. dont make it worse by forcing or expecting him to come up with plans. dont expect diamonds and roses and chocolate and a car or something. any man who is not a sheep and slave to Hallmark will hate the concept of buying merchadise for a made-up holiday in order to "prove" with money that he loves someone. too much pressure. too much stress. im not saying take over his God-given responsibility to be the leader in the relationship, just dont put pressure on him to make plans. he may or may not be thinking about it already. but the fact that you are thinking about it will only add to the stress.)

"How much do you weigh?"
(ummm, the website's explanation is that men are just as sensitive about their weight as women are. hmm must have been a woman writing it. cause this is not true. we may think about it. we may think about what other people think about our appearance or if we look athletic or attractive. but as far as specific weights and losing a certain number of pounds and eating water and croutons to stay alive, the only guys i know that do that are wrestlers. and they are kinda nuts. so, as much as we would rather you be up-front and honest with us, dont just say "hey you look like you have gained about 20lbs!" because we will react negatively to that. but we dont care as much as girls do in general. body image and attractiveness is a factor to a certain extent. different levels of importance for different guys.)

sigh. ok i guess that is it. i hope this psychological/sociological/gender interaction studies lecture was beneficial for your interactions with the men in your life. think before you speak.




any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

make me feel tiny if it makes you feel tall
but there's always someone cooler than you


any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

all those comments ready
witty comebacks
sarcastic responses
all in the arsenal
waiting to be pulled from the holster
why do you have to make me regret my restraint?



any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

if you dont want to hear the lies
dont listen to my eyes
dont bother
be like the rest
assume all is fine
and walk on



any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

maybe its just the cold air in my face....
at least that's what ill say



any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

there's nothing you can do to deserve it
you dont have to earn his love
as it falls like rain, dont stay inside
soak up his loving mercy
wet clothes with a peaceful heart


so long sweet summer
i stumbled upon you and gratefully basked in your rays
so long sweet slumber
i fell into you and now youre gracefully falling away
hey thanks
thanks for that summer
its cold where youre going
i hope that your heart is always warm
i gave you the best
i gave you the best i had
and passed on the letters
and pased on the best that i had
so
so long sweet summer

blood and warmth
will you return to my hands
so that i can make a fist
so that i can feel
so that i can wipe my cheeks
and not make ice



any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

sooner or later this cold is gonna break so my hands can be warm again
all i want is not to need you now
all i want from you is vows of silence now
this ruined puzzle
the pieces dont fit well
hand me that hammer
bent and broken, ill put the pieces back together...



any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

there is a darkness which comes from excess of light, and then is the time to listen.



any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

sometimes im a liar
sometimes im a fake
sometimes im a hypocrite everybody hates
sometimes im a poet
sometimes im a preacher
sometimes i watch life go by sitting in the bleachers

there were times when things were dark
and ive been known to miss the mark
but someone fixed my aim


i want to hate you
i need to dislike you
i would love to distance you
it would be great to disappear
run away
never return
never speak again
but i cant do that

it would be a way of dealing with the situation
maybe if i ignore you
act like we never met
act like you dont still have my heart
as if you were just another girl
i happened to meet
with sand in my shoes

maybe then i wouldnt care
maybe then i wouldnt churn with anger and pain
but i cant
i cant hate you
and i cant love you
He has given me a peace that i cant fathom

it clearly is not of me
otherwise i would be filled with anger and pain
and hatred

so the truth
it would hurt less and would be easier if i could just move on
pretend to hate you, never talk to you,
ignore and avoid you as much as possible
completely supress and neglect those emotions and feelings
i have done it for so long, it wouldnt be too foreign to do it once again
and as before, let those feelings build up and boil and fester until they explode
it may be next year, it may be five years from now

i feel this is what God is helping me with
somehow he is showing me the right way to go about this
i cant express it
and i dont have the words to express it
i dont want to talk about it right now

just know that no matter how much i wanted to totally take you out of my life, it isnt possible and God isnt letting me do that either, for whatever reason. i still dont know how to act around you. it still hurts. so many times thoughts flash through my mind, i see or hear something that reminds me of you, i look through pictures or i read your words written on purple paper with a vision of my future. so many times i break inside. i cant even pour out all that i feel because i dont know where to point the valve.

there are so many things i want to tell you
so many things i want to share
so many questions
so much confusion and pain and anger
all of which is being healed

God is so great
and i am not

this is so hard
i just want to scream
but i will just shake my head
and return to prayer
that's the only way things will get better

but i dont hate you
and as tempting as it has been
and as much as i wanted to
i didnt intend to stop talking to you when i found out
at least not forever
like i told you a long time ago:
"i might get mad at you, but i can't hate you"
at one time i didnt even think the former was possible
but...
as Chris says:
"My heart is yours to fill or burst or break or bury or wear as jewelery,
which ever you prefer."

"When once we get intimate with Jesus we are never lonely, we never need sympathy, we can pour out all the time without being pathetic."
"When God gets us alone by...heartbreak...disappointment...a broken friendship...then He begins to expound."
-Oswald Chambers

He follows us, pursues us, draws us to Himself so he can forgive us and we can glorify Him. This is His desire for us.


hate is a strong word
so is goodbye



any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

and ive poured my heart out
but it's evaporated

this may be the last time that i see you
forgive me for holding you close


It's all about you, Jesus.
And all this is for you,
for your glory and your fame.
It's not about me,
as if you should do things my way.
You alone are God and I surrender to your ways.


any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

with the preparation to switch computers and leave behind the one i have used for the past two and a half years, there are a lot of transitions. there are a lot of things i need to do. i need to make sure i have all the files off of this computer. music, papers, pictures, presentations.

the hardest is to read through my collection of away messages. what a highly varied spectrum of emotions and feelings mixed with craziness at times. its a great collection of away messages, but so many of them hurt to read. many were never even used, but that doesnt mean that there wasnt a great deal of emotion and sincerity wrapped up in them. maybe its best that i dont take it with me. i need to leave it for now.



any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

kieslowski, you are brilliant.
you have captured the essence of despair, pain, suffering, disbelief and anger
you have shown us what it means to be at the end of your rope and not know where to look or where to turn
you have given us a glimpse of what it means to hurt

in this, there is the essence of revenge
there is the plot to share this pain
to give back what one has been dealt
an incredible plot to strike back
to make her hurt and cry more than ever before
and why
just to know that you were loved
to get that final answer you desire
to get that resolution

you cried at my funeral

why?


in my mind, it stays up to par with the rest of the trilogy

any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

dashboard sings to me again:
the end of an anchor
a plain morning


and as far as chris connelly thinking that chris carraba sucks and that only 14 year old girls like him, maybe he needs to go through some tough times so that he can appreciate listening to someone who believes what they are singing. so that he can sympathize with what chris is going through. so that he can scream and yell and cry right along with chris and fog the windshield with pain-choked words. chris isnt the solution. God is the solution. only through Him can things really get fixed. but at that time when you have nowhere else to turn and no release for all that is inside, chris is a great therapist. so yes. i like him. he is a great artist, musician and an honest human being. his music moves me.




any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

actually....
as if never experienced before
as if all else was pretense

no. i will not let him take a foothold. i will not let this get to me and ruin what i have worked so hard for. i have been through so much. you have brought me through this. help me keep him from destroying me once again. i will not be weak. i will not fall prey again. You are my strength and my song.

give me your peace
give me your grace



any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

wow

i mean wow.

i dont think i can sum the past week up much better than that.
except for maybe with "yahtzee" or "tadashi" or "got 'em" or "yeah, you did"

i cant really express everything that has happened in the past week. God has taken me on a roller coaster. it started with some stubborness on my part which turned into humility and willingness after He broke me. from there to a whole range of emotions and feelings. but in the past week he has led me through some incredible experiences and shown himself to me in a way that i have not experienced in a long time.

on top of all of this, by being willing to be humble and listen to Him and accept a gracious invitation, i was able to spend some wonderful time with some great people. meeting new people and having a great time. having people think i was funny and fun and crazy and smart and even attractive was a bonus that i would have never expected, but it really was about being in God's nature and his presence with other believers who are awesome men and women of God and who like to have fun.

all i have to say is that i had a great time, on the slopes and off, and i am very thankful to everyone there for being so welcoming and friendly. outgoing personalities only go so far, people have to be willing to step outside their personal comfort zones as well. id especially like to thank john for inviting me, in spite of everything. and the fact that he had a good enough understanding of my personality and how i relate to people to know that i would not be phased at all by being with 10 other people that know each other very well, 7 of whom ive never met before. it all worked out. and im very thankful for the opportunity and for everything that happened.

couple notes:
perudo (irish, homestar, french, southern, gay)
ssssssteve
workout video with the feeshy feesh (russian, french, japanese, ninja, monkey, ballet, yoga, tae bo, layout)
jason
leonardo di caprio
-40 degrees
fanny pack
thong song
iPod
80s mix
concussions/whiplash
dirty hick
damn yankee
clyde
communist flask
nekked
trivial pursuit
psychology lecture in the living room
goats
stout and hot sauce
snow bunny
hot showers.....right...how about 10 degree floors?
suzie
sweet swirling onion rings
oh mylanta
MD
halo
satelite dish
stupid pool rules
massages....for real....
yikes
russian monkeys
yahtzee


so much more.....man what a great week. miss vt already and all you guys. take it easy.

as for the development in my walk.....incredible.

but i guess the extent of that is for me to know and you to witness in my actions....

or it should be.

we will see.



9 days.



any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

If I was someone you love
You'd be shaken by now
If I was someone you need we'd be better now
If I was someone you cared for
You'd be holdin' me
They say you'll do the damndest things you
Could ever think of
For someone you love
It ain't easy but it's worth it in the end


right, phil, right......



any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

familiar trip
similar route
different impetus
different motivation

and yes i know those are redundant statements, i used them for effect.

feeling the same things all over again
singing the same lines all over again

yikes here we go.


any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

how 'bout 'dem apples?
even after all this crap
still making it happen
so you can suck on it


almost dean's


any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

from spoken:

Yet another day seems like it’s wasted
You don’t feel you’re any closer to the prize
A dead end job where there’s no future
Praying that tomorrow things won’t be this way
Things will get better this I promise you
And I know that you won’t feel this way forever
Things will get better this I promise you
And I know loneliness won’t last forever
Yet another day, another tired morning
You’re catching up to your intentions
You’re thinking life has to be easier than this
Maybe tomorrow things won’t be this way
Loneliness won’t last forever
I promise with all that’s in me to leave this emptiness behind

from switchfoot:

When I wake in the morning
I want to blow into pieces
I want more than just okay, more than just okay

When I'm up with the sunshine
I want more than just a good time
I want more than just okay, more than just okay

I'm not givin' up, givin' up now
I'm not givin' up, not backing down

More than fine, more than bent on getting by
More than fine, more than just okay

When I'm lit with sunrise
I want more than just the blue skies
I want more than just okay, more than okay

More than oceans away from the dawn
More than oceans away from who we are


and this bitter pill is leaving you with such an angry mouth

any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

as i scream in rage and fury and my head explodes from the pain, its quick trip to the ground is only beaten by the fragments of a broken heart, freshly glued and taped back together, as it is smashed over and over again with the hammer that has made me bruise and bleed so many times before.

i have no words for this pain. no expression for this rage. no ability to organize these feelings into a systematic reaction.


what's up now Job, what's up now?


all at once the ghosts come back

oh tears of rage
tears of anguish
stay down
stay away
i cannot restrain you
i cannot control you
i cannot hold you back

i cannot fathom
i cannot comprehend
these knives plunge deep
i rot with this aching pain
unexpected brokenness
i cannot deal with this

but You can
yet again, I turn
and all that I am left with is You

my wings are broken
can i rest under yours?



any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

I've this creeping
Suspicion that things are not as they seem
Reassure me
Why do I feel as if I'm in too deep
I've been praying
For some way to show them
I'm not what they see
Yes I have done wrong
But what I did I thought needed be done
I swear
Unholy day

If I leave now I might get away
This weighs on me
As heavy as stone and as blue as I go
I was just wondering if you'd come along
To hold up my head when my head won't hold on
I'll do the same if the same's what you want
If not I'll go
I will go alone
I'm a long way
From that fool's mistake and now forever pay
No, run
I will run and I'll be ok


Maybe I'm crazy
But laughing out loud
Makes the pain pass by
And maybe you're a little crazy
But laughing out loud makes it all subside
Holding I'm holding
I'm still falling
Spoon in spoon
Stirring my coffee


And have you called me there way before
And I leave this song with you
Feeling colder
than I ever have
She won't be my lady
And some of you fall

*classic dave, classic*


You may write me down in history
With your bitter twisted lies
You may trod me down in the very dirt
And still like the dust I'll rise
Does my happiness upset you
Why are you best with gloom
Cause I laugh like I've got an oil well
Pumpin' in my living room

So you may shoot me with your words
You may cut me with your eyes
And I'll rise
I'll rise

*amen ben*


not fire, not ice.....

but which burns more.....


any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

my sighs they reign victorious and fog this tinted glass.
it's clouded and so is my head.
the hint of these new tears is sharp, i try to choke them back
its useless. im useless against them. they're beating me with ease.
on the way home, this car hears my confessions
i think tonight ill take the long way...



any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

So this is odd,
The painful realization that has all gone wrong.
And nobody cares at all

So you buried all your lover's clothes
And burned the letters lover wrote,
But it doesn't make it any better.

So this is strange,
Our sidestepping has come to be a brilliant dance
Where nobody leads at all,
Where nobody leads at all.

And the picture frames are facing down
And the ringing from this empty sound
Is deafening and keeping you from sleep.
And breathing is a foreign task
And thinking's just too much to ask
And you're measuring your minutes by a clock that's blinking eights.

This is incredible.
Starving, insatiable,
Yes, this is love for the first time.
Well you'd like to think that you were invincible.
Yeah, well weren't we all once before we felt loss for the first time?
Well this is the last time.

~thanks chris for putting it in words


---------------------------------------
I'm raising up my voice
to the walls and to the sky
it seeks no explanation
it waits for no reply
really it is nothing
just a cry to the wilds

~david knows what's up

----------------------------------------
I've seen love go by my door
It's never been this close before
Never been so easy or so slow
I've been shooting in the dark too long
When something not right it's wrong

Suddenly I turned around and she was standing there
With silver bracelets on her wrists and flowers in her hair
She walked up to me so gracefully and took my crown of thorns

Now there's a wall between us something there's been lost
I took too much for granted got my signals crossed
Just to think that it all began on a long-forgotten morn

I've heard newborn babies wailing like a mourning dove
And old men with broken teeth stranded without love
Do I understand your question man is it hopeless and forlorn
"Come in" she said
"I'll give you shelter from the storm".

~thanks bob
---------------------------------------

Everywhere and every way, Every moment of the day It is the right time
For the father above, He is listening with love, And he wants to answer us


keep the vital communication paths open, dont focus on the secondary



any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

man....i have had enough depressing movies. i dont care if they are great movies anymore, can i please have a freaking happy ending? go ask the ladies in the rows in front and behind me who were sobbing if they enjoyed the movie...


at this point in life, at this stage in circumstances, i dont need to any depressing input on my life.



any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu

im glad im no longer living by others standards of what is good or should be good or acceptable. new years was great. many would look at me strange if i said that after explaining the extent of my activities on new years eve. and yes there were things that i would have rather done. they might have been more fun, but overall, i was in the right place. and hearing that still small voice call me to start a tradition.

i dont have a list of activities or multiple great events that happened which i can give you rapid-fire. what i have is the feeling that i made a valued investment of my time and energy into my friends to maintain those relationships. and i felt i was open and willing to listen when i was called and instructed. it was great. this will probably be the most memorable new years and for mostly good reasons.

before you can rush into battle to serve your king, you have to get on your knees and recognize him as you Lord.




any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu