Andrew: You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone.
Sam: I still feel at home in my house.
Andrew: You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this right of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for you kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place.

it is so true. there is something about moving on, but not moving out. my stuff is still here, but at this point i feel like that is the case only because i dont have anywhere else to put it. it is as if this house, this room, is just a holding zone, a waiting room of life. you dont really feel like you belong there anymore. you dont really feel like it is home. but you dont have anywhere else to go. nowhere else is truly home for you yet.

you look forward to coming home, but a lot of that is because you look forward to getting away from whatever else is going on in your crazy world. there is a bit of peace at home. there is a piece of you that wants to drive along those familiar roads to see those faces that remember your own. you want to see your family, you want to spend time with them. but then you remember that you have moved on. you are in a different place. going home is almost a regressive journey away from the progress you have made in your life. nostaligia is great. spending time with people is great. but it is weird to realize that this is no longer home. you are just setting up a temporary bunking area before heading back to another residence. you may even call this other place "home" now. but you know that is temporary too. so how long will it last? when will the houses you live in become a home? it needs to replace the one that you have moved out of. even if you havent physically relocated all of your belongings, your heart is not as firmly founded in that house.

it is bittersweet...

any and all comments or responses are welcome at dabele@wm.edu